I had a whopper of an anxiety attack, full on gulping air and panic crying. I managed to get outside and sat on a coppers log heaving breath as I struggled to regain control. I knew I was in a moment of high emotion and that it would pass. But when I was at its peak, well, it was a shocker.A colleague was across the road awaiting a pick up and saw my distress. He came over to make sure I was okay then put his hand on my shoulder and told me it would all be alright.
Articles from Harrangue Man
I bought two tubs of A2 vanilla ice-cream; a glorious dessert I can eat and which does not cause upset. Shop person—"So, got any plans this weekend?"Me—"Well, I'm not eating four litres of ice-cream if that's what you're thinking."Technically, that is true, because they're 1.8 litre tubs.
Because I am so naturally gifted—it's not natural; it's time-worn—I do a lot of work.
I'd lost my Pringle can lid. I looked for it everywhere in the kitchen where I thought it would naturally be. I was worried I'd be forced to gorge on the last third lest they go stale.The lid wasn't there.
I got a new, slinky sweater vest from thewife, this one thin and soft as a cheek's caress. It's thin enough that I didn't notice the seams running either side of me today as it was worn inside out—tag jutting out from the side of the vest. No one said anything because the seams are so tight that the only give away is the ...
I'd been on a slow burn for days when it came bubbling out on the drive to work—my stressors and strains. I ended up in the lift, still crying, next to a colleague. I apologised for the tears, told him "one got past the keeper" and that "mental injury recovery is not linear". He was kind and understanding—and he let me talk my way to calm as he walked me to my desk.Still jittery I had a Vallium then threw myself into work, fixing, building, editing, tweaking.
I had much of the weekend alone, spent in an un-medicated daze, lying in bed with a hot water bottle and surfing the web or reading nerd books. Then, as I rode the bike each day, I had space outs. Today at least I spaced out forward; planning an activity I was going to do when I was done.I had it all nutted out in my head after the hour and following a shower sat down and punched it out.I was in the middle of a final polish just as thewife and theboy rolled in the door.
I spent the day, listless. I lay and read and dozed then read then dozed. As late afternoon rolled around my head was spinning.Then I realised. Not only had I not had caffeine I had failed to taking my morning head pill, a pill with a lifespan of about 15 hours. It had worn off on waking and hours later the wigs had kicked in. A shower, pills and a coffee later the listlessness is still there but not as much.
I work fast. I type fast. I work and I type fast. It makes me effective and highly productive. I'm a 10'xer for my trade: I'm worth ten people. I got asked to find key entry points for information then put up some links. I searched and found the portals, stuck up the correct links, made it look all purty then pinged the "job complete" email.I got called "Outstanding".Now I know doing a bit of web research to find portals and then embedding links isn't the hardest job in the world.