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Articles from Harrangue Man

Fake better than real

September 21, 2020 - 22:11 -- Admin

Since about year 12 I've had sound playing at night. First classical music, then a fan then white noise on a smartphone. The mix I use the most is heavy rain, thunder and train, over 400 days total runtime.

Tonight there was a storm and great flashes of lightning ripped. I didn't know how close a peal would follow and my fight flight kicked in, having to gird myself on each for a likely loud as holy fuck noise sent by the universe to smote me.

Broken arm blues

September 15, 2020 - 23:20 -- Admin

I don't have my arm in a sling; I just have be careful in what I pick up or hold and how I do it.

Don't, for example, pick up a mini heater with spread-eagled fingers.

Or hold on to the grab bar in the shower with the broken arm then lean over, bearing your weight through that arm.

Don't push yourself up with it; that's a corker.

Mew from my ninja spot

August 29, 2020 - 10:05 -- Admin

The black cat is needy. I was on the floor leaning against the couch and she was standing and the self-same couch. I did not know she was there;.

An elongated cat mew that was as loud as a sandstorm from the wastes of fuck was then inserted without warning.

Love cats; don't love that.

PTSD and hypercubes is balls.

Alien finger syndrome

August 27, 2020 - 11:18 -- Admin

My left index has always been twitchy but since the second accident it keeps cooking off; it stays pointed but vibrates like Babu's when he tells Jerry he is a very bad man.

A very bad man.

Just another helping of shit bodily outcomes brought to you by a lackadaisical pregnancy.

You'd think I'd be over that but I never will; they stole my body and bullied me for it ... and enjoyed doing it.

Mikey's adventures over the handlebars

August 26, 2020 - 17:38 -- Admin

As the bike slid and I departed it head first toward concrete I had but a moment to register what was happing. I got my left arm out in front and it took the full shock to protect my face. 

I lay half off the path on and gravel for a good couple of minutes to collect myself then got to my feet. An older gent stopped to help out and I wobbly rode one handed to a small park and called for help.

That last bit was made hard by my inability to use my left arm.

Fully stacked it

August 17, 2020 - 21:41 -- Admin

I was the shake to some kid’s bake as I sped along on the electric pushie and decided against the water-pooled path for the mud and grassed slope.

My view tilted sixty degrees as I replaced riding with sliding right-side down along the slope for at least three feet, the handle carving a furrow behind.

I stopped and lay still, with damage control reporting in as the kid’s mate behind me stopped to check I was okay.

Calamities

July 21, 2020 - 19:20 -- Admin

Calamities happen with oft frequency and more often I suspect that being in the mean would be.I stupidly went number two on a paper-clogged toilet and they rose in rebellion; my super turd a dreadnought that threatened to spill over to the floor.I did what I had to; I got a food container and scooped and ran outside like I was in a egg and spoon race except the egg was shit and spoon was the much smaller than I was comfortable with clear plastic tray.I dumped it under the lavender bush, retur

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