Articles from Harrangue Man
The paperwork mountain has been conquered. I failed on the first attempt but thewife pushed it up and over on the second go. I feel hollow. I'd expected to fail and the sudden success and its resultant acknowledgement has left me empty. I've not cried, I've not yelled. I'm not even in a state of befuddled wonderment. To have succeeded is through the looking glass stuff and I don't know how to cope.
"Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys.There's a lot of passion, rage and wonder going on in this battle effort.
I have limited toe nails, in that I have to pull them off and they take a few months to grow back. Then, if they survive that, they grow into a snaggle and I have to remove it.Because I've lived a life of nail pulling and or removal they grow not forward but upward, rising like a thickened keratin Ularu from the bed of the toe.
During the school holidays I've been busing to work and my route involves a trip over a bridge. One morn, just as we roared onto the bridge, "Some Nights" by Fun. came on the bus's radio. I grinned as my ironic battle anthem took me into the day and I sang along to the parts that I knew. Some Canberra mornings just fuckin' sparkle. WFTW.
theboy was in the toilet and I was waiting to go in.
Oh, it was broken. I woke at 4 am, 6 am, 7 am and 8:17. But, in total, I slept ten hours.That's the longest stretch since returning to work. Where I've woken, but not to a nightmare, and instead of being awake and ruminating I've just gone back to sleep, each phase riven with strange but not troubling dreams.It's another indicator of recovery. That my mind is no longer tethered to the past.
Part of the delicious adventure that is having OCPD (conscientious sub-type) is holding yourself to a near impossible standard of "if not me then who?"If you see something that needs fixing, and you know how to get it fixed, then the moral duty falls upon you to fix it. I've been fixing things since the moment I broke into the world—lights, stains, chips, breaks, holes, divots and systemic failures.