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Articles from Harrangue Man

Paperclip cut

November 24, 2020 - 19:35 -- Admin

In the trenches of bureaucracy a risk of a paper cut still remains high in spite of digital first preference. 

I had to leaf though 300 booklets to check I'd inserted a paperclip in each correctly and in bending an inside straight bit on one I jammed it under my right index nail.

A paperclip cut; that's like breakdance fighting.

Novelty licence plate does the trick.

November 24, 2020 - 19:25 -- Admin

I have a fat, hairy back. When it's sweaty it itches.

I needed to deal with that in situ on a stationery bike and the most apt to hand device was my novelty DAD ROCKS licence plate---display only, the metal too thin for actual (and illegal) use.

But that very weakness was at the core of its admitted utility as a scratcher as the slender plate could flex then whip-scrape across the afflicted slurry of sweaty back hair and skin bringing gushing of relief. 


November 4, 2020 - 21:13 -- Admin

Four years ago we experienced going down the "wrong trouser leg of time" (1). Here we are and it's 2020 and what if we go down the wrong leg again? 

When Sean Connery died the first thought was that what a shame he died before he knew the result.Then what if his departure was sensibly timed? What if his Scottish senses were tingling and he was "Fuck this; I'm oot!"? because Trump was lettin' the tartan team doon?(2)

Toe-fingered the remote

November 2, 2020 - 21:36 -- Admin

(A testicle is harmed in this story, the identity is named near the end)

My body is shabby like and I don't like to move so I couldn't hand over the remote.

So I toe-fingered it across. Off went a sock, remote slotted 'tween bose and index then I reached out my foot.

I was proud of my work but at the height of my gloat my cat trod on a testicle.

It was the left one.

Trump has the COVID

October 3, 2020 - 17:15 -- Admin

So he has the COVID.  

UPDATE1: Didn't phase him but also no lessons learned; and he's holding superspreader events again. What does this mean? Who knows?! Honestly, he's survived more than many human being before us and you can't but help think you're a sprite in his first person adventure. 

I bet he will prosper from it. I don't know how, he just will. He's beaten everything else, why not this?!

Game of Thrones

October 3, 2020 - 16:26 -- Admin

Jesus, ant-whispering Christ, how much do we miss Game of Thrones?! I miss it SO much! I started re-watching it form the beginning back when my mum was dying and I do miss it so. 

Technically even an ant-whisper levels if Jesus applied the full Voice of God effect the ants would no longer be here. And that’s tough for the ants. Poor little fuckers