The other day I was in a fear cake; caked in fear. It was like I was baked into it and I could not move it was that paralyzing. I had to go through a long list of titles to make sure something was not there.
Articles from Harrangue Man
I had a psych visit where I was angry and I cried. When we got home I crawled into bed and slept the grief off. I felt better for it. It was better than being awake and fixating on what was said. Hooray for a shut down reboot; sometimes you really do have to turn it off and on again.
RidingI rode up an embankment of concreted rock. I didn't mean to, I didn't use both brakes is all. On another ride I rode into a hedge; well, through it. My arm dragged through thorny greenery for a few seconds until I could wobble away. Stupid hedge. Stupid me for riding through it.MeerkatWe have some; most are terrified. They look up with a mute scream.
It was pissing buckets in the nation's capital and about a half dozen times the car aquaplaned for what felt like a heartbeat or two. You had to grip the wheel and keep the accelerator down without cruise control to maintain control and go slower---I wonder if you can get an un-speed camera ticket because I passed one at 70 in a 100 zone.I used to joke with overseas visitors that, no, they were unlikely to see kangaroos just hopping about in Canberra.
There was a broken basket that needed duct tape in all the right places and I decided to have a go. I have PTSD with hand tremours one of the effects and those tremours could be caused by the meds that I take for PTSD. If the price to pay for not living caked in fear is tremble fingers then so be it. It means random tasks like duct tape and scissors become an exciting challenge especially with scissors that are not great for duct tape.
I sent feedback on a product and got a follow up question the same day. I don't think that's happened before.I feel unsettled. I'm so inured to shouting into the dark without reponse to get a shout back is weird and not normal.(Looks around warily)
I was at a meeting in lush Canberran Wintery surrounds; a dimly lit room enhanced with candles—actual wax with the burning and the melting—and a roaring fireplace as like-minded met to discuss the way ahead. For comfort's sake and so I didn't have to sit next to people I put my chair against the wall. I man spread 'cos of my skeleton and people either side should not have to put up with that.
From what I can remember a chicken will head to a roost point at slightly one candlepower of remaining dusk light.So the others had gone into the hutch but the Polish Scruff, the one with the greatest leap, was atop her alternate roost, the mesh roof of the big chicken pen.It means me having to turn sideways between a fence and the pen, tummy rubbing the metal through my shirt, then shift tow squeeze between a shed and the pen until I get to where I can grab her.The last two nights I had a to
Sometimes when you have PTSD you blindside it; you don't react as an animal but instead enter serene calm as a storm crashes upon you.Yesterday I was riding, bare chested, in the shed when theboy came in crying. He'd made me something at school but dropped it a puddle and was super sad.I feel acutely vulnerable on the exercise bike; it faces away from the door and I am not aesthetically pleasing and know it. I'm sweaty and grotesque and the riding hurts.
My Leprechaun was attacked by Talisman's drunken Tavern Farmer with strength of three and whose pic has him armed with a pitchfork being used as a pole-arm---why he took his pitchfork with him to the Tavern is beyond me but the dust up happens outside.Me wee green one had the Inferno Spear; a hellish fire weapon that adds two to your attack and if you take another character's life they have to burn an object.I've fought that farmer thousands of times but that one was special.