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Articles from Harrangue Man

Recumbent bike

January 10, 2018 - 21:35 -- Admin

I went past a man with a recumbent bike. He was in the middle of a phone call. He looked like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds only with a bike helmet and shades. His t-shirt said "Incontinental"—either that pun name or the actual hotel chain. Either way the thing was he was standing.If you have a recumbent bike why would you stand to take or make a call? It makes no sense.

Sharted in the shower

January 9, 2018 - 10:53 -- Admin

I didn't mean to—I don't think anyone consciously does unless it's for art, sex or both—but I filled the shower with the horrid smell of wet shit as it came out.I cleaned myself, dried, then with a still damp bum went to the toilet and dropped the rest. Then I went back to the shower to get really, super clean. I to make sure there was no me left on the tiles of the shower well.

Finger tips are also not food

January 8, 2018 - 20:13 -- Admin

After they vigorously pecked at my unprotected toenails I donned crocs then attempted to feed them a handful of pumpkin seeds.Yeah ... the chicks tried to eat my finger tips. They saw the seeds, they knew that's what they were supposed to eat, but they tried to eat me.Not cool, chicks, not cool. It would be just my luck for my coda to be reported as "found eaten by his own birds".

Take a sniff and see

January 8, 2018 - 17:08 -- Admin

I was in the middle of sniffing three-day-old Chinese food for eating risk when those words, or words like them, of "Take a sniff and see" burst out of the TV in the lounge room. It came from an ep of Teen Titans.It was deeply congruent.

Rider in the storm

January 8, 2018 - 17:02 -- Admin

It sucked. The rain slashed into me just after I got around the lake. I not only had to turn off the battery but take shelter in bushes from the onslaught.I rode back mostly on no battery. Once the trike dried a bit I risked brief spurts when legs were failing.No one writes songs about riders in storms, well electric-assist trike riders, because there's nothing majestic about it. You're wet, there's wind and you can't use the battery.The chain also came off at one point.

I did stop

January 7, 2018 - 15:31 -- Admin

It turns out I was buying Pringles for for the chickens than me. There are two full un-popped tubes on the counter and two half-popped ones. After the mass death of the adult chickens feeding the two survivors just wasn't the same—and they didn't seem to enjoy them either.

Like adding hair would help

January 7, 2018 - 11:37 -- Admin

We accidentally signed up to what appeared to be a free trial of a product but which of course was a spammer's marketing scam to get our email.Since then there's been a lot of blocking of spam. One of them was "Regrow hair in X days!" which, for a second, made me think the spammers knew I was bald(ing) but then rationalised it was just a broad spray hoping to catch the fearful bald in their web of hair regrowing lies. I am bald(ing).

Art V life

January 7, 2018 - 11:18 -- Admin

Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy loses girl then does a series of escalating acts to win her back, girl gets back with boy (art).Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy loses girl and respects her boundaries and does not communicate with her again or stays friends if possible (real world ideal)Boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love [or boy thinks they're in love but they're not], boy loses girl then does a series of escalating acts to win her back, girl freaks out at

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