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What do you mean 'strange', Emily?

October 25, 2021 - 17:56 -- Admin

Apple News served up this head-bending shitfuckery in my feed this morning. An article promising ‘A Better Way to Slice Bread (Warning: It's Weird!)’ From a previously unknown site calling itself Food52.

It’s probably why I had a brain splitting migraine this afternoon.


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Because no. That doesn’t look strange. That looks exactly like how you slice bread, unless you want to squash it like some sort of heavy-handed, bread-squashing monster.

The blogger, one Emily Dryden goes on to explain the many and obvious advantages of this ‘one strange way to cut bread’ — that I have been enjoying all of my bread-eating life.

Am I the strange one here? I think not.

Writes Emily:

Yes, it takes a bit more coordination and care: Rather than resting the flat, stable side against the cutting board, you'll have to hold the bread in place with the hand that isn't knife-wielding.

WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU DOING WITH YOUR NON KNIFEY HAND ANYWAY, EMILY!?!

Did her magical bread magically hold itself in place while she cut it completely the wrong way?

Well? Did it?

I suggest this woman and her followers should not be allowed near edged metal.