I've seen enough pirate movies to know how a sailing ship sounds and if turns out it sounds like me: creaks and groans, bubbling, seagulls and nautical swearing. The bubbling is my gut that I unhelpfully filled with ice-cream and creaks (with pops) is gas escaping joints in my neck and knees.
My unfavourite is the neck hiss, I feel the gas squeaking out as lungs back with a wheeze. And it's loud, so loud, like a death rattle of some Lovecraftian filth.
My hand just spasmed---least that was silent.
Gurgle, pop, snargle and blurt---all noises I just made without speaking a word.
Fuck you, existence