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This snotty nose is brought to you by Subway

July 4, 2021 - 08:12 -- Admin

We had Subway via Uber Eats and, like McDonald’s, it came with a shit ton of paper napkins.

I usually stack them on the counter then one day they’re gone — presumably to chase mice on a nice farm upstate — but with only one box of tissues in play I souvenired them for my bedside bookshelf for future me to use instead of fishing a likely still damp tissue from the bin then scanning for the driest spot to unload my nose.

Many people argue re-using a used still-moist bin tissue is “gross”, “perturbing”, or “auto-erotic self-nasal display” so I’ve done my part to restore the balance by having a stack of Subway napkins to blow my nose into.

Me, always considering the world around, well, me; self-pat on scraggly, deformed man-back.