Oz Blog News Commentary

French kings

July 4, 2021 - 07:17 -- Admin

I don’t know how the wiki jaunt started but it kicked in before dawn as pain danced upon my body and I scanned through wikis of French kings, entranced at their machinations and ever so occasional improvements made to administration and governance.

Mostly I got excited by the rich death rate of anyone named dauphin (heir) with one poor family chewing through three sons before the fourth made it to king.

That and the many awful ways they died through happenstance or misadventure; the one killed by a splinter from a lance wound from voluntary jousting is a der result (i.e. what the fuck do you expect) through to the happenstance of the one who died on the way to a tennis match from concussing himself on a door lintel.

So many of them forced to marry cousins; so many of them deciding to marry cousins to access rich gooey cousin land. The one who married his cousin then got an annulment on the grounds he didn’t fuck her because she was crippled and his manhood robbed of vigour by witchery whose cousin-wife was then forced to present witnesses attesting to the fact he bragged he’d fully nailed said crippled spouse-cousin four times in one night.

He still got his annulment.

Finally, I enjoyed the fact so many lines of Houses got extinguished by the rapidity of heir death and that due to No Girls! cubby house rules inheritance of the crown at one point went to a second cousin once removed.

With all of that you can see why the French eventually cracked the shits with the monarchy and invented a slew of fashion for red, white and blue and regicide.

Wikipedia, serving the needs of smartphone insomniacs ever since smartphones got easy internet access.