I got home after a ride on my electric assist pushie, opened the freezer bag and found the lid had come off the cream and doused the innards.
I burst into tears and shouted at the world that had done me wrong.
Ten minutes before I was at the shops and trying to reattach the front basket to the bike with a nasty piece of Velcro about twenty feet from a child who'd every few seconds would lustily scream with joy from the playground yonder that a sane person would register as a delight.
But I am not sane.
The Velcro failed repeatedly and it was just outside the precinct I methodically crushed the basket until the cane and the metal frame had been turned in on itself.
Thirty seconds earlier the bike stand sank in soft mud the tiipped over with the front wheel now off centre.
The crushed storage failure was in a green bag hanging off a handle as I went wah, wah, wah all the way home.
After a discovering a cow creamed my bag I lost it then had to report for over emoting and got sent off for a shower then to bed with a hot water bottle and meds.
I got fear-maddened because life stole my mind and body and that I cannot do basic things like join Velcro strips together.
I went eight days without losing my shit at the past; eight.
However, that's the longest stretch yet and the CBT before, during and after helped.
We're not designed to live in a modern world with the stresses we face---add a shit childhood to that is the icing on the shit cake.
Eight days---and six weeks without needing Valium. Small steps, small steps, but always shuffling forward.