Committee: “Mr. Bancroft. When did you come to realise you had a ream of 32-Grit Industrial Grade Glass Shard Sandpaper concealed in your box ?
Bancroft: Errrmm. When Smithy took the new ball ??
Darren Lehmann: NO NO NO !
Committee: Could Counsel Assisting please relieve Mr. Lehmann of his walkie-talkie ? Thankyou. So. Mr. Bancroft. Prior to the 87th over of the innings you were completely unaware of the Silicon Graphite Hardware products concealed on your person ?
Bancroft: Errmmm. Yes. Well some of them.
Committee: Here is a picture of you affixing an oxy-acetylene blowtorch to your helmet visor.
Bancroft: (Confidently). Oh yes. That’s Boof’s second-hand…
Lehmann: (Frantically through Plexiglass barrier): NO NO NO !
Committee: Could Counsel Assisting please administer the Elephant Tranquiliser ?
Lehmann: NO NO NO !
Committee: Increase the dosage.
Lehmann: NO NO N..zzzzzz
Committee: Mr. Bancroft. Exhibit C.
Committee: The fire hydrant.
Bancroft: Errm. Lehmo ? … Lehmo ? … (Lapses into Catatonia)