I had a dichotomous meeting in the toilet doorway today. As punters know the toilet doorway at my work and I are not friends. Since that bastard doorway led to me toilet squishing the boss+++ in it.

Remember how Sesame Street would have those puppet skits where they’d do opposites? Near / Far, First / Last, Some / None etc? I loved them. Especially the Some / None one. Read more »

I entered the white collar workplace world on the cusp of email becoming the norm. It's hard to believe that once upon a time email did not exist. Instead signed correspondence via inter office envelope was the standard. Now such missives are rare and generally high level because the high level people entered the workforce when email was not the norm and have still to adapt. Read more »

In an email to a finance area I realised I had asked them to 'more' the date forward. When they responded with a 'thanks, email noted' I felt I had to apologise for the typo.Obviously in the email I meant 'Move' not 'More'. That will teach me to rely on the spool checker.The thing is I laughed when I wrote it. Despite its obvious groanyiness.

Me to supervisor. 'Oh you know how dodgy those romances are. They're all like "Greedily he sought her embrace, eagerly pursuing her insert-orifice-here with his mouth".'Yeah ... not a good time to go the insert option on that one.

Massively increase the longevity of your signage, likely festooned with liberal doses of clipart (like the duck with the mallet crushing the computer or that owl that reads and shit), by laminating it on a workplace laminator.That way your grammatically and literacy challenged missive can be enjoyed at both on an informative and being laughed at level for years to come. Read more »