Michael Brown's Toilet, Somewhere; Former Federal Emergency Management Agency head, Michael Brown, who ignominiously resigned following mismanagement of the agency during the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, today paused during a bowel motion in order to gather his strength for a final faecal push.
Read more »
When I was a kid I had water on the knees. The end result was by year seven I couldn't do sport. Not that I cared, I hated it, but I maintained a none too healthy eating pattern and fattened up like some sort of lovingly pampered cannibal snack pack. Read more »
Yep, guilty as charged. I keep books in the toilet. My latest read is the official biography of Arthur C Clarke. Of course it was written 16 years before he died.So what's yours? What do you have in your toilet for sittin' time readin' fare?HM wants to know.UPDATE Not actually in the toilet like say an alcho keeps a hip flask in the cistern. Just the room that surrounds it. Does it have a name?
According to his shaky cam Zoot effort. Actually so does Derryn Hinch.What an age we live in where B lister celebs are not afraid to go on camera and pitch products that make my stools firm yet yielding.I bet they'd be interested in my colonoscopy photos from a few years back. Maybe I will send them in.
Don't you hate it when you poop too fast and your entire rectal area becomes on fire from the pain of the too fast poo? And there's nothing you can do to mitigate the pain of the too fast poo. Except yell and scream while on the loo. Hoping and praying the pain will pass soon. Read more »
I had a dichotomous meeting in the toilet doorway today. As punters know the toilet doorway at my work and I are not friends. Since that bastard doorway led to me toilet squishing the boss+++ in it.
Remember how Sesame Street would have those puppet skits where they’d do opposites? Near / Far, First / Last, Some / None etc? I loved them. Especially the Some / None one. Read more »
I am. No false modesty here.Today, whilst attending the lav, I heard someone straining out some ploppers. As punters know toilets reflect sound and thus accentuate the poo-hits-water aural experience. And not in the good Las Vegas way. So clearly this person was embarrased about what they were unleashing on fellow lav goers.So ... how did I help?I gave him a cover flush. Read more »
Lads occasionally drip wee on the floor when doing a standing onesie. It's a fact of modern plumbed life. We try our best - for the most part - unless pissed while pissing - but now and then yes, the odd drop will miss the bowl and hit the floor before it. Some sad bastards living with the ladies are forced to sit to pee as a result (see About Schmidt*). Read more »
Today whilst firing one at the white half shell I managed to pee dribble on to my pants. In the same way a large mass distorts space time, the presence of a belt when going the pull down method can distort the stream. In this case I hadn't quite cleared it. Thus wee went on my crotch in the manner of a champagne fountain. Read more »
Blogotariat is a platform to enhance the role of blog commentary and its growing influence on Mainstream Media and the political process – the great contest of ideas essential to a civil society. If you wish to contribute editorially or add your blog please use the Contact menu to send some info.
