I'm reading Moby Dick on my phone and I'm up to the bit where Captain Ahab is practically chewing the mess rug in his monomania to get Moby Dick, an albino sperm whale which last time ate off one of his legs (Ahab's).I'm guessing it's all going to go tits up and Ahab will #Fail.What if someone gave it an Ahab-happy ending? Like in Wayne's World where they have a number to choose from but the final is the most-happy.Where you get to learn that platonic love can exist between two men (Russell).I'm technically nuts, I have papers that say, but I've accidentally dicked the White Whale. Twice.I went into wrenching, howling maddened grief the first time. The second was numbed delight. I phone-tubed and hummed the rest of the day.I'm the Ahab that made it. That's something. Two Dicks, says I, two!