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The paper test

May 18, 2018 - 16:15 -- Admin

I have a day calendar in the shed that is A6 in size, about that of a hand.A mental health nurse friend told me one of their diagnostics was the paper test where you drape a sheet of paper over a hand and watch it to determine if the person has hand tremours. I put yesterday's calendar page on my right hand and willed my hand to still.I could not. Though it didn't fall the page lightly danced atop my quivering hand.It's fucked having your body betray you. It's not its fault---it's from meds and injury---but that you cannot do some things---or will be doing something then inexplicably stop doing it such as be holding something and just dropping it because your fingers sprang open of their own seeming will---is maddening.I had a poor grip before injury, but I could pick an item up and know it would stay held. Now unless I actively concentrate on holding it I know not.But I can't will the tremours away and five years on from copping one in the neck for Oz it's likely my forever.Workplace mental injury blows goats; I am proof.