This is my dole diary.  Some of this may be true.

07:00 Hit snooze

09:00 Berate myself for flushing the alarm clock down the toilet.  Fucking thing doesn’t work.  Must use neighbours loo.

09:01 Turn on Kath and Kim on Ten.  Can’t decide if David Reine is faking stupidity.

09:03 Put kettle on and make a large plunger of strong coffee.

09:05 Regret final drink, which even though I can’t remember drinking, now believe to be completely unnecessary.

09:09 Check out KAK to see if she is still wearing canary yellow.  She is.  And even though I should be disappointed, decide she is a trooper.

10:00 Breakfast on High Street

10:45 Return home, have shower. Make self look half decent.  Thank the powers that be for Clarins Beauty Flash Balm.

11.00  Look for job.

11:11 Speak to recruitment consultant.  Visualise recruitment consultant.  Wonder how recruitment consultant made career leap from asking customers if they “want fries with that”  to big time successful recruitment consulting.

11:30 Submit application.

12:00 Lunch.

12:20 Decide it is time for nana nap.

12:25 Regret flushing alarm down the bog.

12:27 Coma.

13:50 Awake.

13:51 Coffee.

14:05 Check email.  Not important, no one writes.  Consider spamming myself.

15:00 Supermarket run.

15:20 Look at supermarket from moving tram.  Will buy groceries after a quick drink at the Grace Darling Hotel.

18:30 Refused service at Grace Darling Hotel.  Make abusive phone call to boyfriend for refusing to meet me for a drink at Grace Darling Hotel.

19:00 Safeway is expensive.  Decide budget restraints mean I can no longer afford to eat.

19:05 Catch tram home.

19:20 Tram Inspecttors throw me off tram in front on Bender Bar.  Convenient.  Good thing boys don’t know Vanessa at the Grace.

19:22 Final drink.

19:39 Final drink.

20:02 Final drink.

21:15 Allegedly visit neighbour.

23:05 Wake up on couch.  Head hurts.  Wonder why boyfriend is ignoring me.