Shorter Cardinal Pell: If you agree to a candlelight dinner then you’re just asking for it, aren’t you? How could sex later be rape? [link]
Shorter Cardinal Pell: It’s totally OK to tell a clerical abuse complainant that they’re the only one to ever accuse that priest while writing the same day to another complainant against the same priest. [link]
Shorter Tony Abbott: My Mate The Cardinal dealt with this case totally honourably, honest, he just did because I say so. [link]
Shorter Cardinal Pell: The West needs more Western babies! [link] (Subtext: “Wimminz, on your backs: you owe it to your country. And you non-Western folk, stop reproducing and get back to the jungle at once.” (subtext provided by Pavlov’s Cat))
More shorter Pell subtext: those 500 young men at WYD that the Church hopes will choose to become priests “need to cause quite a number of pregnancies before they go all celibate on us”. (via Ambigulous at LP)
Shorter Pope Benedict: We want to help the environment, really [link] (subtext: just so long as nobody mentions the elephant in the room about how the single most useful thing we could do is allow women to limit the size of their families).
(subtext via Helen at Surfdom)
Shorter Bishop Fisher: Clerical abuse victims are just cranky spoilsports who should STFU so that priests can enjoy looking at glorious young people without distractions. [link]
(as noted by Lauredhel yesterday)
And news just in!
Shorter Vatican: When the Holy Father told reporters that he would work for “healing and reconciliation with the victims” of sexual abuse by Roman Catholic clergy in Australia [link] at WYD, he didn’t actually make any formal commitment to an actual apology, so sorry for any “misunderstanding” [link].
